Wednesday, November 29, 2006


The Name Game Part II

Queen Elizabeth formerly known as Queen McKenzie has formerly declared that the Queen is now to be known as Cat.

The Agent of D.A.D.D.Y. has concluded that the change from Elizabeth to Cat came about because Elizabeth has 9 letters, McKenzie has 8 letters, and Cat has but 3 letters. This is important to one learning to spell and write. However, the Queen would like everyone to know that Cat has no problem spelling McKenzie.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


Captain Hysteria and the Black Cat

In the peaceful days before the land of home was visited upon by Captain Hysteria, Queen McKenzie had just established the land of Kenzie. In the land of Kenzie, the Queen established a black pool of ooze that was of the Queen's making from the private black ooze belonging the Agent of D.A.D.D.Y. And thus the black ooze came unto the land of Kenzie.

Every now and again, the AoD found that he had need of black ooze, so the AoD contacted his friend by the name of Dick Blick. Dick Blik informed the AoD that he had just the thing and this thing was called Black Cat.

The Black Cat has the ability to supply 1 pint of black ooze. As this was more black ooze than the AoD needed (and Captain Hysteria was now about), the AoD decided that he must protect the Black Cat from the Good Captain and the Queen. To protect the Black Cat, the AoD placed the Black Cat inside a pencil box. He then placed the pencil box inside a Rubbermaid container. he then placed the Rubbermaid container under the coffee table that is stuck in the far corner in the Headquarter shared by the Agent of M.O.M.M.Y and D.A.D.D.Y.

And thus the Black Cat lay only to be acknowledged when the AoD made his annual pilgrimages to the C.O.N.S. As the last pilgrimage to the C.O.N.S. was made in mid September, the Black Cat was lay in hibernation, awaiting it's next use.

This is where the Good Captain comes in.

The Good Captain decided that the Black Cat was lonely and with his Hysterical Sight, CH located the Black Cat in the pencil box in the Rubbermaid container under the coffee table in the far corner of the HSBtAoMaD. The Black Cat not used to the presence of the Good Captain was scared out of its wits and therefore spewed forth the entire pint of black ooze.

Here are the photos documents as taken by the Agent of M.O.M.M.Y. and prepared by the AoD.

Clothing and bedding in the HSBtAoMaD

The Carpeted Ooze

Ooze Infested Corner of a Mattress in the HSBtAoMaD

Ooze Infested Captain Hysteria

Monday, November 27, 2006


Hysteria News

There is one big event that happened recently that hasn't been reported yet. It's coming and for all you that doubt that the events are real, there are pictures.

However, for now the Hysteria news is that the Good Captain went pee pee in the potty.

Captain Hysteria announced that he had to go potty. This is an announcement that happens on a fairly regular basis as the Good Captain likes to play int he land of Bath. However, this time CH marched into the Land of Bath and dumped the Eyeliner of M.O.M.M.Y. into the Realm of Toilet. The Agent of D.A.D.D.Y. rescued the EOM and CH climbed unto the Realm of Toilet (with his diaper still on). The AOD instructed CH to remove his diaper and CH then placed his diaper into the trash.

The Good Captain returned to the Realm of Toilet and the liquid did flow. After flushing the toilet and a series of high fives, The Good Captain went back to work dumping books onto the floor.

Sunday, November 05, 2006


Conversations with the Queen

Queen Elizabeth: D.A.D.D.Y., can I have some candy?
Agent of D.A.D.D.Y. : No.
QE : Can I have a lollipop?
AoD : No.
QE : Can I have some candy?
AoD : No.

Repeat once and hour until the All Hallow's Eve candy is all gone or you are bat crazy insane.

Friday, November 03, 2006


The Flash

The Agent of D.A.D.D.Y. would like to apologize to everyone emotionally scarred by Captain Hysteria's antics in the window. You see, the Good Captain was pulling at his diaper and thus an agent was dispatched to deal with the situation. The agent was not properly equipped for the situation. After the diaper was removed, the agent needed to reach for another diaper. The agent's head was turned for a second and the Good Captain dashed away and up into the window.

The agent is now taking measure to prevent such an event in the future.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006


All Hallow's Eve

It was All Hallow's Eve and the Terrible Trio set forth to wreak havoc on the populace. The Trio chose clever costumes in order to protect their ever-so-secret identities. Princess Gwen became Geisha Girl. Queen Elizabeth became Alien, The Little Mermaid. Captain Hysteria became the Dread Pirate Hysteria.

With the disguises in place and the sun setting, the Trio set off. DPH jumped into his trusty Radio Flyer wagon now christianed the Hysterical Ship Revenge with GG and A the LM leading the way on foot.

The decision was made to hit up the local fire department. In year's past this is a source of candy just off the normal beaten path. This means that there is usually more candy as the fire department gets few visitors. However, this year there was just one lone person outside the fire department. He had no candy and (quite ironically) was smoking a cigarette. Thus the Trio moved on further off the beaten path in search of the ever-elusive candy.

Around the corner and down the road, the Trio found their first house with a light. With the Agent of M.O.M.M.Y, the Trio dashed across the street and up the steps to beg for candy. The Agent of D.A.D.D.Y. was left behind to guard the Hysterical Ship Revenge. This mission was a success and back across the street the Trio came. With DPH back into the HSR down the street they went hitting one house after the next until...

Up to the step unto the porch they flew ...
No answer.
"But there's a light," stated GG.
"Come on let's go to the next house," said the ever practical AoD.
"Here they come, you can see the kids in the window," said the AoM.
The door opens and out peeks a child.
"We have no candy," says the child.
And off the Trio went followed by the agents. Some one was heard quietly grumbling "... then you need to turn off your light."

After the adventure at the House with Lights but No Candy, the Trio went down the block and around the corner hitting up houses as they went along. When the Trio approached the House on the Corner, across the straight sat a couple in the dark behind their chain link fence. As the Trio returned from the House of the Corner, the couple in the dark behind their chain link fence doused their porch with light and smiled at the Trio. The AoD looked at the AoM. The agents shook their heads and moved along. If you want a visit from the Trio then you should not sit behind a CLOSED chain link fence in the DARK casually turning on the light when you were previously lurking menacingly in the dark. It's just spooky and weird.

After the experience with the Spooky and Weird Couple, the agents made the decision to join the beaten path where the multitudes swarmed. There the Trio blended in with all the other deviants out and about and also begging for candy. At this junction, DPH gave up on the HSR as it became a hindrance to his candy collecting ability to constantly hop in and out the ship. For 3 blocks, he mostly walked with a occasional voyage on the HSR and with only one shipwreck that spilled DPH and his booty unto the sidewalk.

There was another 3 blocks before DPH decided that his collected booty was enough and he climbed back into the HSR for the return journey. The ever-greedy GG and A the LM hit up all the houses on the return journey. The DPH hit up one more house for good measure before totally calling it quits for the night.

About midway back on the return journey, A the LM decided that it was time to visit the Land of Potty. A the LM announced that it was a visit that could not wait even though the Trio was still 8 blocks away from the Land of Potty and even though A the LM refused to visit the Land of Potty before leaving House. The AoD decided it was time to pick up the pace and finish up but A the LM and GG, not wanting to miss out on any candy, delayed the progress toward the Land of Potty by stopping at EVERY house along the way.

With a block left in the journey, AoD, Dread Pirate Hysteria, and the Hysterical Ship Revenge headed back to House while GG, A the LM, and AoM finished off the block. Apparently, DPH was unsatisfied with his booty or his mode of transportation, so upon arriving at House, DPH unboarded HSR and headed to White car Kirby (NOTE: WCK is not to confused with Kirby. Kirby is the red car and is always referred to as simply Kirby. WCK is a white car and is always referred as either White Car or White Car Kirby.) After a land battle with DPH, AoD bought down the pirate, separated him from his booty, docked the HSR, and made it into House just in time to see DPH strip out his garb and once again become simply Captain Hysteria.

Soon GG, A the LM, and AoM made their appearance. The 2 hour adventure was over. While GG took a bath and became Princess Gwen again, her Royal Majesty decreed that she was not going to take a bath (as she wanted a shower) and CH chomped down on the Tootsie Roll Pop that he successfully managed to steal from PG's pot. In the chaos, AoD prepared dinner while AoM separated the candy into gallon bags (yes gallon bags, there was much booty). In the trash went the unwrapped cookies and crap candies. (When will people learn that candy corn is not wanted and that no eats their baked cookies?)

Apparently, the Trio visited a dentist's house as there were sample toothpaste tubes and new toothbrushes. Those went into the medicine cabinet for later use. AoD was deeply disappointed as there were only 3 packages of the ever yummy Nerds and only a few pieces of Laffy Taffy yet there were millions and millions of Smarties AKA Crack for Kids.

The agents recently located a stash of Christmas 2005 candy, so that should get an idea of how long this stash will last. All the chocolate will disappear (with the help of AoM) within a week or so.

For those keeping track
2 hours of walking + $30 in costumes = 3 buckets of candy
The equation changes on All Saint's Day when the All Hallow's Eve candy goes on sale at 1/2 price (or less), and thus ...
15 minutes of walking + 5 minutes in line + 18 buckets of candy = $5

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