Saturday, March 31, 2007
Keeping It Together
A couple weeks ago, the Agent of D.A.D.D.Y. suffered from a rash. This rash spread from the inner elbow up and down the left arm and over to the right arm across his back and down the thighs. The AoD is not one to make frivolous trips to the doctor and thus choose to treat the rash with cortisone. The rash is now gone, but the one lesson learned was that household adhesives and cortisone should not be stored in the same areas.
Friday, March 30, 2007
A Name Change and Tickling Etiquette
The Agent of D.A.D.D.Y has hereby declared that the child formerly known as Captain Hysteria and Spy will henceforth be called Agent of C.H.A.O.S.
Agent of C.H.A.O.S has been informed that AoC is violating the Etiquette of Tickling. AoC is now on notice that AoC can not just run up and yell "Tickle. Tickle. Tickle." and expect anyone to laugh. Furthermore, AoC was informed that AoC can not put in tickling requests by grabbing the AoD's hand and making tickling motions on AoC's belly. Tickling does not occur on demand, it is reserved to the times when it's least expected.
Agent of C.H.A.O.S has been informed that AoC is violating the Etiquette of Tickling. AoC is now on notice that AoC can not just run up and yell "Tickle. Tickle. Tickle." and expect anyone to laugh. Furthermore, AoC was informed that AoC can not put in tickling requests by grabbing the AoD's hand and making tickling motions on AoC's belly. Tickling does not occur on demand, it is reserved to the times when it's least expected.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
The Blame Game
The Agent of D.A.D.D.Y. has quickly learned that no matter what happens the balem lies at the the feet of the AoD.
Spy has discovered the secret to unlocking the stroller and is thus now able to menace society at will. When Spy decides to free himself from the stroller with cookie in hand and promptly drops the cookie on the ground ... Spy's response?
"You dropped cookie, D.A.D.D.Y."
Yep, the AoD has the ability to punish Spy by commanding Spy's hand to drop the cookie. However, AoD lacks the ability to stop the escape to begin with.
When making the daily 10 minute round trip to rescue the Princess from School, Queen McKenzie always has to rush back to House because the Queen has to Potty. When the Queen fails to make it back to House in time ... you guessed it.
"It's your fault, D.A.D.D.Y."
Yep, it's the AoD has ultimate control of the Bladder. This is why the Queen refuses to go Potty before leaving House and has no desire to go Potty while at School. Because the AoD controsl the Bladder, the Aod has decided that the Queen will always have the desire to go Potty exactly half way between School and House, but ONLY on the return trip. The AoD's bladder control also ignores all past history where the Queen sat for 30 minutes during road trips because there is no Potty available.
Given 3 quarters, 4 dimes, 4 nickels and 10 pennies, the Princess Gwen must make 99 cent. When the Princess fails to find the correct change ... the AoD gets the attitude.
Spy has discovered the secret to unlocking the stroller and is thus now able to menace society at will. When Spy decides to free himself from the stroller with cookie in hand and promptly drops the cookie on the ground ... Spy's response?
"You dropped cookie, D.A.D.D.Y."
Yep, the AoD has the ability to punish Spy by commanding Spy's hand to drop the cookie. However, AoD lacks the ability to stop the escape to begin with.
When making the daily 10 minute round trip to rescue the Princess from School, Queen McKenzie always has to rush back to House because the Queen has to Potty. When the Queen fails to make it back to House in time ... you guessed it.
"It's your fault, D.A.D.D.Y."
Yep, it's the AoD has ultimate control of the Bladder. This is why the Queen refuses to go Potty before leaving House and has no desire to go Potty while at School. Because the AoD controsl the Bladder, the Aod has decided that the Queen will always have the desire to go Potty exactly half way between School and House, but ONLY on the return trip. The AoD's bladder control also ignores all past history where the Queen sat for 30 minutes during road trips because there is no Potty available.
Given 3 quarters, 4 dimes, 4 nickels and 10 pennies, the Princess Gwen must make 99 cent. When the Princess fails to find the correct change ... the AoD gets the attitude.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Circle, Mixed and Baked
When dealing with Queen Elizabeth who is now known as Violet, every now and again she will request bacon and eggs for breakfast (or lunch). Before beginning thr preparation for the eggs, who must ask QEWINKAV how she wants her eggs. If you don't and just prepare them as you wish, she will not eat them and you are back to square one. If you do ask you will get one or more of the following requests: circle, mixed, or baked. Those may be modified with "with the yellow stuff moving" or "no yellow stuff." From there you must translate KenzieSpeak into English.
Circle when it refers to an egg means hard boiled. Mixed, of course, is scrambled. Baked is one that often comes with the modifiers.
Baked with the yellow stuff moving is KenzieSpeak for eggs over medium
Baked with no yellow stuff is KenzieSpeak for a eggs over hard.
Baked with no modifier is a simple fried egg.
There is also circle with the yellow stuff moving which is simply KenzieSpeak for soft boiled eggs.
Of course, the Agent of D.A.D.D.Y. takes no credit for the turn of events as the AoD only prepared mixed eggs. The Agent of M.O.M.M.Y. introduced the concept of choice into simple bacon and eggs and thereby has forced the AoD into becoming a short order cook.
FYI: Queen Elizabeth has now taken the name Violet after Milla Jovovich's charater from the movie Ultraviolet. The rumor has it that the AoD will watch any movie that features Milla (even the lackluster Messenger) and thus the Queen has been unduly influenced by this behavior. The AoM refuses to acknowledge the Queen's new name. The AoD attributes this behavior as some sort of jealousy over the AoD apparent "obsession" with Milla. Despite what Spy may say no one (and especially not the AoD) is instructing Spy to refer to Milla as MillaMommy. Spy we all know is a crafty interloper and should not be trusted.
Circle when it refers to an egg means hard boiled. Mixed, of course, is scrambled. Baked is one that often comes with the modifiers.
Baked with the yellow stuff moving is KenzieSpeak for eggs over medium
Baked with no yellow stuff is KenzieSpeak for a eggs over hard.
Baked with no modifier is a simple fried egg.
There is also circle with the yellow stuff moving which is simply KenzieSpeak for soft boiled eggs.
Of course, the Agent of D.A.D.D.Y. takes no credit for the turn of events as the AoD only prepared mixed eggs. The Agent of M.O.M.M.Y. introduced the concept of choice into simple bacon and eggs and thereby has forced the AoD into becoming a short order cook.
FYI: Queen Elizabeth has now taken the name Violet after Milla Jovovich's charater from the movie Ultraviolet. The rumor has it that the AoD will watch any movie that features Milla (even the lackluster Messenger) and thus the Queen has been unduly influenced by this behavior. The AoM refuses to acknowledge the Queen's new name. The AoD attributes this behavior as some sort of jealousy over the AoD apparent "obsession" with Milla. Despite what Spy may say no one (and especially not the AoD) is instructing Spy to refer to Milla as MillaMommy. Spy we all know is a crafty interloper and should not be trusted.
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