Saturday, February 24, 2007


The Time Has Come

This morning the Spy Currently Known as Tarzan woke from the place on the floor where he was sleeping. SCKAT climbed upon the counter in Kitchen. SCKAT walked across Stove and reached across Fridge to grab My Butt. My Butt is the creme that SCKAT ask for by name when SCKAT's tender backside become inflamed due to SCKAT running about in a butt wrap which SCKAT refuses to allow any one to remove.

An inflamed backside is known by the Agent of D.A.D.D.Y. as karma. The karma earned because SCKAT is a stubborn savage. A savage that would rather run about House soaking wet and then cross into Kitchen, dash across Stove and unto Fridge for My Butt over simply visiting the land of Potty where SCKAT is king complete with a throne.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007


The Key to Being Popular

The Agent of D.A.D.D.Y. received a call today from Principal. The call went something like this.

"AoD," said Principal. Principal and AoD are on first name basis because AoD is a former President of the PTA. "Everything is okay," she began. This is the first clue that everything isn't okay. "Everything is okay, but are you available to come get Princess Gwen? PG was in the restroom this morning and another girl told PG that she should use soap to wash her hands. PG said she didn't want to use soap and an altercation occurred. PG was allowed to finish taking the test but we want to discourage such outbursts so please come to pick-up Princess Gwen. Princess Gwen can come back to school on Thursday."

Yes, the discussion went something like that. The AoD looked about the room at the Agent of M.O.M.M.Y. and explained that Princess Gwen has been suspended from school for fighting over soap usage.

AoD then travelled to School to get Princess Gwen. On the ride home from School, the Princess explained what happened. You see ....
PG and M were in the restroom. M noticed that PG was not using soap to wash her hands. M told PG that all the POPULAR kids used soap. PG said she didn't want to use soap and flicked water at M and the altercation began.

Yes, PG got in a fight at school over using soap. Not only was PG wrong in regards to fighting at school, PG was wrong in the intelligence use to make the decision about the war. AoD is sure there's a lesson in there about getting into a fight due to faulty intelligence, but that is a lessen better left to history as right now PG has is placing the part of Cinderella.

Monday, February 05, 2007


Spy Training

Every time the Agents are convinced that Spy is truly Spy, Spy decided to do some thing that only Captain Hysteria would do. Such as:

Eating powdered coffee creamer.

CH and Spy are both partial to hazelnut coffee creamer. No container of coffee creamer has EVER been finished off by anyone other than CH. The newest container of hazelnut to enter House has been recently disposed of by Spy. By disposed of, we, of course, mean Spy poured the creamer directly into the gaping mouth of Spy until overflowing. Once overflowing Spy then spits a huge puff of creamer all over Kitchen and then pours the remaining creamer onto the counter.

This pattern has continues into spices (such as parika, Italian seasoning, garlic powder and cinnamon, although it's only happened once with chili powder for some odd reason) and powder like cheeses (like Parmesan)

Saturday, February 03, 2007


Why? Ponderings from the Headquarters of D.A.D.D.Y.

Submitted for the Consideration of Agents of M.O.M.M.Y. and D.A.D.D.Y. worldwide

1) Why is that when they are old enough to do something (like roll down the windows in the car) that they are not old enough to know why they shouldn't do it (because the car is travelling 60MPH and it's 30 degrees F outside)?

2) Why is it that they want to eat sandwiches instead of dinner, but don;t want to eat sandwiches when you want them to (like right now)?

3) Why is it that when you catch them doing something they know they aren't supposed to do they stop, look at you, and ask "What?" as if you didn't just see what they were doing the second before they noticed they were in their presence?

4) Why is it when you describe something in the most foul way possible (this looks like green tuna fish) that they pop up and come running, but when you say "Time for bed" they never hear you the first 12 times?

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