Thursday, January 25, 2007


Counting Milestones

Today Cat demonstrated her ability to add numbers from one to five.
1+1 = 2
Those she knows.
and all the rest she's learned to count her fingers.

Spy? Well Spy only counts the number of times Spy hits the Agent of D.A.D.D.Y. with vacuum cleaner attachments while the AoD counts the number times Spy has turned over baskets and hampers. That number is now 5 which means Spy is averaging 1.25 turnovers per hour thus far today.

UPDATE: Make that 5.5 baskets and hampers as Spy attempted to knock over one, but nothing fell out. .5 for the attempt bringing the average to 1.375 per hour.

Monday, January 22, 2007


Lessons Learned: War

Unable to find diplomatic solutions, The Princess, the Queen, and the Agent of D.A.D.D.Y went to War. All three began with near equal military numbers with the AoD only having one less division than his royal counterparts.

The Princess's force of was composed mostly of low ranking officers. They fought valiantly, but soon surrendered to the combined onslaught of the AoD and the Queen.

In the meantime, the Queen built a superior force with many high ranking officers and lots and lots of low ranking officers. As result, the AoD of was forced to fight a guerrilla war. The AoD used his high ranking officers to slowly engage and capture the forces of the Queen.

Battle after battle was fought. The Queen was armed with a vastly superior army. Battle weary, the AoD was down to less than 15 soldiers. The AoD announced to his soldiers that if they continued to fight the good fight and avoided heavy losses, it was possible to win the war through attrition.

The war waged on and on and on and on.

The Queen soon grew bored with war and surrendered to the guerrilla tactics of the AoD. All is once again peaceful in the land. The Queen and the Princess decided to seek out the Old Maid and Go Fishing

Monday, January 15, 2007


Becoming a Hero: The Agent of D.A.D.D.Y. way

There are many ways to become a hero. You can be jettisoned from an exploding planet and empowered by the yellow sun. You can watch your parents die and then spend your life training to wreak vengeance on cowardly scoundrels. You can be caught in the heart of gamma explosion. You could get bitten by a radioactive spider.

OR ...

You can have Captain Hysteria bring you one of many items that are now "boken." Once you receive the item, you then fix it to have the Good Captain exclaim "How you do that?!" and run off with a smile to toss the item aside and watch TV.


The Peace Process

In House there are 2 very simple devices. These devices when placed in the right hands these devices have the power to establish peace throughout the land. These devices when placed in the wrong hands have the power to destabilize and other destroy all peace. They can change a benevolent oligarchy and into a tyrannical dictatorship.

These devices? The remote control to the TV and DVD player. Never keep Captain Hysteria without them.

Thursday, January 04, 2007


A Conversaton with the Queen

Trying to explain complicated concepts to the Queen is often simply futile. Today's futile explanation was skin grafts.

Skin grafts as explained by the Agent of D.A.D.D.Y. are when skin is taking from one part of the body and are used to cover other parts of the body. The AoD also explained that some times skin grafts don't work the first time and have to be done again.

To all this Queen Elizabeth simply looked up and said, "Batteries." The AoD, of course, asked for clarification to which the Queen said, "If they change the batteries, then it will work."

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