Thursday, February 16, 2006


Conversations with the Queen

At Lunch
Queen McKenzie: I'm hungry. I want a peanut butter jelly sandwich.
Agent of D.A.D.D.Y.: Okay
QM: I want my bread toast.
AoD: Okay
QM: I want 2 jellies.
AoD: 2 jellies?
QM: Jelly Jelly. No peanut butter.

While watching He-Man and the Masters of the Universe Season 1 Volume 2 Disk 4 (of 6)
QM: I'm He-Man girl.
AoD: Huh?
QM: Some people call me He-Man girl and some call me Kenzie.
AoD: Okay
QM: You can call me Kenzie.
AoD: Okay, Kenzie.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006


The Center for Disease Spread

I have come to the conclusion that schools are not really learning institutions, but centers for the spread of disease. People send their sick kids to school where the sickness incubates and finds its way to another kid and then another and then another. Eventually, the sickness finds its way to Princess Gwen who then shares it with Captain Hysteria and Queen McKenzie. Usually from there it goes to the agent of M.O.M.M.Y. while the agent of D.A.D.D.Y. gets a much much milder case of it and ends up in the trenshes with the outbreak monkeys fighting to contain the sickness.

Whatever it is that the Center for Disease Spread has let lose this time involves coughing and sneezy and phlegm and runny noses and a fever. The Princess had the cough and the runny nose. The Queen has it all, but the fever and CH has received everything and top it off with a daily dose of Captain Phlegm Vomit.

Thus far the agent of D.A.D.D.Y. has a mild case which his superduper highly advanced immune system is fighting off even with the constant barrage of face coughing from the Queen and CH.

The Princess is now mostly well after being sent home early from school on Friday with a fever.

The Queen is her usual rambunctious self with occasional pauses for coughing and a underlying layer of crankiness due to not getting good rest due to coughing fits during the night. The Queen insists that the agents feed her soup because she is sick. The agents thus far has yet to comply with the request.

CH is lethargic. He just lays down anywhere so he has been given his cup to keep him hydrated and a pillow and he lays on the pillow watching He-Man Season 1 Volume 2. CH is silently fighting off the intruders to the Hysteria Fortress of Solitude with occasional breaks to expel the vermin via his mighty Hysteria nostrils.

The agent of M.O.M.M.Y. seems to have escaped the infestation thus far, but I'm sure she'll manage to fight it off until CH, QM and PG are well and then the cycle will begin again.

Monday, February 13, 2006


Here Lurks the Decapitator and the Delegulator

The snack for today was animal crackers. Captain Hysteria and Queen McKenzie both received a handful of animal crackers in a bowl. Captain Hysteria promptly chomped off all the heads and placed the animals back in the bowl. The Queen promptly chomped off all the legs before finishing off the poor crackers. CH left his bowl. About 30 minutes later the Queen discovered the bowl of headless animals and asked to eat them. CH walks over to her, looks in the bowl and pushes it towards the Queen. The Queen ate them.

Later, the agent of D.A.D.D.Y. got a handful of animal crackers for himself. Instantly, CH appears and was given one animal cracker. When the agent returned to his office, there sitting in front of his keyboard was ...

... a headless giraffe!

Sunday, February 12, 2006



When the average person looks at the image above they see Lilo and Stitch as both are clearly featured in the image. Captain Hysteria, however, has a strange fascination with Lilo. .He only sees her and only cares about her. As far as he is concerned, Lilo is the only thing that matters. Right now looking at the screen, he's shouting Lilo! Lilo! Lilo! or rather Lee-Yo! Lee-Yo! Lee-Yo!

Join the Disney Movie Club. Your kids will love you ... and you'll get 30-90 minutes of sanity while they watch the movies.

Thursday, February 09, 2006



Until children begin to talk, you want them to talk because it will be easier to figure out what they want. What the handbooks do not tell you is that fromt he time they can speak so they no longer need translation (roughly 3.5-4 years of age), they then don't stop... ever ... unless they are sleep or causing mayhem. The key place that they never stop talking is the car. So you get conversations like this ....

Queen McKenzie: I talk to much.
Agent of D.A.D.D.Y.: Why don't you rest?
QM: 'cause I like talking
AoD: That's a good reason.
QM: What you say? I can't hear you because you are driving.

OR like this

QM: Is this Strawberry Shortcake (referring to the new Happy Meal toy)?
AoD: No, it's Tea Blossom Teapot.
QM: What you say? I can't hear you because you are driving.



The relocation of the trashcan from the back to the side of the road is a weekly activity. It's a weekly activity that no one really wants to do. The agent of M.O.M.M.Y. generally performs this tasks as this is the agent that generally transports Princess Gwen to school. However, every now and then, the agent of D.A.D.D.Y performs the tasks.

This morning AoM transported the Princess to school (accompanied by the Queen) anbd after coming back into the house annouced that she had forgotten to move the trashcan. AoM then began emptying the house trash into the trashcan.

Captain Hysteria was up by this time and having had his morning fill of sugary goodness decided that the AoM needed help. So with nothing but the agent of D.I.A.P.E.R. protecting him from the elements, he dashes outside unto the back porch. AoM comes in for another round of trash with CH still outside. When she returns, CH is nowhere to be seen.

CH had climbed down the backporch stairs and was hidden by the trashcan. He is now safe inside where he can now climb all over everywhere.


Box Riding

Captain Hysteria has a birthday coming up. On this birthday he will be officially entering the realm of the ... TERRIBLE TWOs. I can't imagine what is left for him to accomplish, but I'm sure he can and will manage to top himself.

The theme for birthdays this time around is bicycles. The princess received her bike and helmet and knee pads and elbow pads at the end of December (12/30). The queen received the princess's old bike and a new helmet and a new set of pads at the beginning of this month (2/1). In a few weeks (3/2) , is supposed to receive his trike. For the sake of sanity, CH has received his trike today. This means that he will now be able to ride with the other two rather than running amok. Of course, he will still run amok, but he will now have the trike to drag around so he'll be able to get into things that are much higher.

So the trike is still sitting in the box and will so until tomorrow because this gives CH an entire to sit and ride on the trike box without worrying about it collapsing. The key is to make sure the box has tape reinforcement. This insures at least one additional day of enjoyment because all they really want is the box.

Saturday, February 04, 2006



Yesterday the queen and captain managed to fill up his crib with stuffed animals. So Captain Hysteria spent the night in the Land of Kenzie. Today the queen has begun the task of returning the animals to there rightful place. This, of course, means lots of reminders to get back on tasks. On such conversation went as follows:

AoD: QM, have you finished?
QM: Yes
AoD: So there are no more toys in the crib?
QM: Nope
Not believing QM the AoD goes to check and true to her word there were no more stuffed animals in the crib.

They were all on the floor!

AoD: Pick up all those toys off the floor and put them in your room.

Later, QM calls out to AoD asking for help. QM needs help because now ALL the toys are in her arms and she can't get up off the floor.

AoD: Pick up some of the toys and take them to your room and then get some moe toys until you are done.

Later, QM announces that she is done. Upon closer inspection all the toys are now on the floor in the Land of Kenzie.

AoD: Please, pick up the toys off the floor and place them in the toy box.

Time needed to move the toys: 10 minutes
Total time required to get the toys in the correct place: 2 hours

Thursday, February 02, 2006


The Ferris Wheel

The picture above is of the Little People Ferris Wheel Playset. This time last year, Queen McKenzie received this and several other Little People toys from GrandDaddy. Over time, the queen, the princess, and Captain Hysteria have had their turn with the LPFWP. With Captain Hysteria the play session begins like this ...

CH runs into the room and presents the agent of D.A.D.D.Y. with the LPFWP and Sonya Lee. Sonya Lee is one of many Little People. There is also Maggie and Eddie and many others that I forget the names of right now, however CH always presents Sonya Lee to the agents...always. CH requests that Sonya Lee be placed on the Ferris Wheel. So the agent goes about placing SL onto the LPFWP. and CH says no. SL is removed and CH says no. Onto the LPFWP she goes again and once again there is a no from CH. Back and forth they go until the agent realizes that CH wants SL in the GREEN seat. And off goes CH with LPFWP in hand.

I forgot to mention that the LPFWP makes noise. It plays some music and giggles as CH cranks the handle to spin the wheel. However, the clever agents flipped the switch on the bottom to OFF, so that it no longer makes any noise. Realizing that this noise producer is no longer producing noise CH runs back to confront the agent. CH sits on the floor in front of the agent and deftly flips LPFWP and flips the switch. Smiling, he glances up to the agent and is off to play again.

The moral of our story? CH is smarter than the agents that guard him .. or the agents should completely remove the batteries from LPFWP.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006


Happy Birthday to Queen Mckenzie

Funfetti cake for everyone ... the Queen was born today!

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Subscribe to Posts [Atom]