Saturday, January 14, 2006

 

The Blame Game

The one thing that I have learned with my careful study of Captain Hysteria and crew is that nothing is ever their fault.

Scenario 1: Princess Gwen has been exiled to the Land of Dolynn. The conversation goes like this:
PG: But it's not my fault?
AoD: So who's fault is it that your shoes are on the floor and not in the closet?
PG: Yours.
AoD: How is it my fault?
PG: You didn't tell me to put them in the closet.
AoD: Where do your shoes belong?
PG: In the Closet but it's your job to tell me to put them in there.
AoD: How many times do you have to be told?
PG: One.
AoD: How many times were you told today?
PG: I didn't count.
AoD: Was it more than one time?
PG: Yeah ... I think so.

Scenario 2: Remember Bear of Care?
Captain Hysteria brings the now Non-Singing Singing Bear of Care to the agent of D.A.D.D.Y. and places it on the agents lap.

CH: Broken
AoD: Yep, you microwaved it. It's broken.
AoD hands it back. CH pushes the button to make it sing. It doesn't sing. CH flips it upside down, unstraps the Velcro and reveals the underside of the NSSBoC. CH flips the ON/OFF switch, presses the button on the hand. Still no singing. CH hands it back to AoD.
AoD: It's broken.
CH cocks his head to the side, "Boken?"
AoD: Broken.
CH leaves NSSBoC with AoD.

Scenario 3:
Queen McKenzie is coloring with her crayons and CH comes up beside her. QM gives CH a crayon and CH breaks it in half.
QM: CH broke my crayon.
AoD: How did CH get your crayon?
QM: I gave it to him.
AoD: Didn't he break the last one you gave to him?
QM: CH broke my crayon.
AoD: Because you gave it to him.
QM: He broke it.


Scenario 4:
CH climbs unto the table and into the AoM's Bag of Goodies while AoD is in the land of Bath. CH retrieves some G.U.M. and dumps the contents of the BoG onto the floor. AoM is standing in the next room and CH is within sight. AoD comes out of the land of Bath.
AoM: Why didn't you stop CH?
AoD (thought): You can't see through the air to stop CH and you expect me to see through a door?
AoD: I was in the land of Bath.
AoM: Why didn't you stop CH?

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